Social & Friendships
Friendships
We encourage children to have a wide range of friends - this is encouraged by our playground leaders, shared break times with other classes, the variety of clubs we have, our family feel, mix up days across the school etc ...
We often talk about positive relationships throughout the year.
If your child is a new starter during the year, we will place them with one or two buddies for the first few weeks.
Falling Out ...
Childhood friendships are such a critical part of school life, so when a disagreement leads to friends falling out it can end up affecting a child’s learning and desire to go to school. Many parents are desperate to help but worry about making the situation worse.
🤷A survey by parent support charity Family Lives found that parents didn’t know which way to turn or how seriously to take the situation, even though some talked about their children faking illness or even refusing to go to school.
The charity found that 57% of parents would turn to the class teacher for help, whilst 30% said they would leave well alone in the hope that the problem would sort itself out. The remaining 13% said they would approach the other parents directly.
It’s natural for children to fall out and make friends again. So the key is being able to recognise when the problem is more than a playground squabble and is beginning to affect your child’s education and wellbeing.
Please talk to us, not to other parents directly.
Yes please ...
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Don't panic - although it is upsetting to hear about disagreements and fallings out, there are often simple solutions and we can often support you and your child.
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Remember ... learning to solve problems and resolve issues forms an important part of growing up, children are usually far more forgiving than adults and what may seem a big issue to them one day, may be completely forgotten the next.
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Having said that, it is important that you listen to your child and reassure them that you love them and are there for them. You may find it helpful to write down exactly what they say if you feel it is more serious than a small disagreement.
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Praise and encourage them, which will help to build up their self esteem and give them the confidence to cope with these situations.
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Arrange a confidential chat with your child's teacher ...
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If the problem persists and you don’t feel it is being dealt with effectively, complete a Bullying form.
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Ensure you seek support for yourself if you’re overwhelmed, whether it is from a relative or friend or someone at school.
No thanks ...
Although incidents are very rare, when we do deal with them we often hear these three comments and have to work with families to remind them why these are not helpful ... don't fall in the trap!
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"If they hurt you, hurt them back ..."
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We have heard this many times and there are many families who tell their children that this is ok. In our school it is NOT ok and your child is likely to receive a consequence for physical assault. Everyone has the right to defend themselves. No one has the right to assault another person.
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"I'll go into school and sort them out ..."
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Speaking like this in front of your child is likely to show children that the partnership between home and school has broken down. It can disempower the school in the eyes of a child and make them believe that whatever is said or done at school does not matter, as parents will disagree. We're happy to help and listen. Privately.
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"I'll speak to their parents after school ..."
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We always want to believe our own children, what they say and do, this is natural. The perception that someone has is their reality, especially in the case of a child. It is highly unlikely to resolve a situation by parents (who were usually neither present at the time) defending a child ... it often makes the situation much worse in the long run.
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Friendship Bench
Hampshire-based Lazy Susan provided us with a free Friendship Bench, designed to create an inviting space for pupils to connect and build lasting friendships.